B.E.S.T. Bears Eagles Salmon Totem Poles

Alaska Origin Story · Ferry North

Bears? No Guarantee. Totem Poles? Absolutely.

I boarded the Alaska Marine Highway in Bellingham looking for passage north. By the time we reached Ketchikan, I had three job offers and an entirely different summer.

I went north as a passenger. I arrived with three job offers and a summer job explaining why wildlife refuses to honour the brochure.

The Call

The Ferry North

I took the Alaska Marine Highway from Bellingham, Washington, to Ketchikan, Alaska. It was not supposed to be a career move. It was transportation.

Somewhere between the Inside Passage, the cold deck air and the steady parade of islands, transportation turned into recruitment. On the ferry, I was offered three different jobs for the summer.

Alaska has a way of turning a one-way ticket into an employment interview.

Answer the Call

The B.E.S.T. Job I Never Applied For

I worked the docks and then worked for B.E.S.T., corralling passengers as they poured off the cruise ships looking for Alaska in concentrated form.

The product mix was unbeatable: bears, eagles, salmon and totem poles. It was less a tour than a live-action checklist of everything people hoped Alaska would be.

The only problem was wildlife. Wildlife had not read the schedule.

Bald eagle in Alaska
Eagles Usually Cooperate They understand branding.

Trials

Can You Guarantee Bears?

Bear in Alaska
No Bear Guarantee Bears maintain an independent scheduling department.

“Can you guarantee bears?”

No. Bears are not union extras, and they do not take direction.

“What can you guarantee?”

Totem poles.

That became the honest sales pitch: no guaranteed bears, but absolutely dependable carved wood.

Foreign Land

Bear Logic

If you are a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you are supposed to gorge yourself senseless on salmon. I could deal with that too.

Bears are a proud people, although technically they are not people. They are animals. Their name is widely believed to have been borrowed from an NFL team in Chicago.

Bears have been known to attack humans, though fewer people have been killed by bears than in World Wars I and II combined—and probably World War III, should we insist on scheduling it.

Note to self: Always respect Mother Nature—especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.

Proof of Product

What We Could Guarantee

Alaska tour cover
Totem pole in Ketchikan Alaska
Totem Poles: 100 Percent Reliable Finally, an attraction with professional discipline.

The Elixir Before the Elixir

Come On, Dog—Mush!

Dog sledding in Alaska
Come On, Dog—Mush! Alaska had already given me a ferry ride, three job offers and a new profession. Why stop there?

The Elixir

I took the ferry north looking for Alaska. Alaska looked back, handed me three job offers and put me to work.

The gig was bears, eagles, salmon, totem poles and passenger management—with one essential lesson in honest tourism: never guarantee wildlife when carved cedar is standing right there.

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