Hello My Name Is; 'I'm All In'!
A parallel life as sailor and gambler
ALL IN A Hero's Journey Around the World
Two lives ran beside each other for twenty years: one measured in nautical miles, the other in blinds, buy-ins and nerve. The ship kept changing the horizon. The table kept revealing the player.
The braided story
The sailor crossed oceans. The gambler crossed himself.
I lived like the old warning made flesh: part drunken sailor, part roaming card sharp, always ready to buy the ticket, take the seat and see what the next hand revealed. I played high-stakes and private games in Macau at the Grand Lisboa and Wynn, Marbella, Curaçao, St. Maarten, Melbourne's Crown Casino, Gibraltar, Sweden, Amsterdam, Las Vegas, the Hard Rock in Hollywood near Fort Lauderdale, and aboard ships at sea.
But this was never only a casino story. The ocean and the poker room became parallel classrooms. Both rewarded position, patience, nerve and attention. Both punished ego. Both taught me that luck is probability taken personally, and that presence creates possibilities no itinerary or spreadsheet can predict.
The world became the table
Listen while reading
The Hero's Journey
A field recording for the inner voyage: risk, identity, variance and the fire that remains after the ego burns off.
The journey in seven thresholds
Not a straight line. A series of crossings.
The chronology overlaps because the lives overlap. Cruise ships, poker rooms, Hawaii, Cunard, Afghanistan and Fair Isle are not separate biographies. They are one Hero's Journey seen through different windows.
The call
Deja Blue: Twenty Years of Magical Thinking
The horizon became a habit.
The Sea Years began with a simple wager: that the world would become larger if I stopped observing it from shore. Cruise by cruise, port by port, the ship became both transport and teacher. Motion created meaning. Repetition became ritual. Magical thinking was not proof that the universe owed me anything; it was permission to keep moving long enough for improbable things to happen.
The experiment
The Hawaii Years
The island became a production set for possibility.
Hawaii was where adventure became authorship. The journey was no longer something that merely happened to me; it became something I could frame, film, narrate and produce. The LOST years and Grass Skirt Productions turned the island into a laboratory for reinvention: identity as a creative act, travel as fieldwork and the camera as proof that a parallel life could be made visible.
Crossing the threshold
Hong Kong to Southampton
The voyage became a long-form way of thinking.
Cunard changed the scale. A world cruise is not tourism accelerated; it is a moving civilization with its own weather, rituals, hierarchies and time. Hong Kong to Southampton turned distance into continuity. The ship became the line connecting many versions of the self, and every port became another card in a hand too large to understand until it was over.
The ordeal
The War Years
Adventure lost its romance and acquired consequences.
The War Years forced every lesson from the sea and the table into a harder arena. In Afghanistan and the wider aviation-training world, communication was no longer style; it was survival infrastructure. Position mattered. Timing mattered. Ambiguity carried a cost. The traveller became a trainer, and the gambler's instinct had to mature into disciplined judgment under pressure.
The abyss and the pause
The Pause Became a Place
When motion disappeared, attention expanded.
We were among the last passengers still sailing as the world began to close, spending Christmas and New Year 2020 aboard Disney with just thirty-five guests from Wuhan. I am certain I caught COVID early. Soon after, Sarah and I made our way to Fair Isle—Britain's most remote inhabited island—for lockdown. There, the moving world disappeared, and isolation revealed a quieter abundance: weather, animals, companionship, attention and the larger life hidden inside fewer choices.
Return with the elixir
The Poker Years
The table became a mirror, a laboratory and a decision dojo.
Poker began as velocity, spectacle and the intoxicating belief that the next hand might change everything. Over time, it became a deeper practice: separating decision quality from outcome, managing emotion under variance, reading systems and staying present when certainty disappeared. The real win was not eliminating chance. It was learning how to act intelligently inside it.
A field note from Money Heaven
Winning at the Wynn in Macau
Bling, deep stacks and midnight magical thinking.
Macau was the sailor-gambler myth made physical. I stayed across from the Wynn at the Grand Lisboa, played a loose Sunday game and finished up $600. At the Wynn I sat in a $10/$20 no-limit game while deep-stacked tables generated astonishing action, including a seven-million-Hong-Kong-dollar pot. For a moment my hourly rate worked out to roughly $100 an hour. I collected a Wynn poker hat, found a favourable room rate and, at midnight, went back downstairs. The city felt like Money Heaven: spectacle, risk and magical thinking under one roof.
Night Vision audio
What the crossings taught
Four first principles from sea and table
You cannot meet the hand, person, port or possibility from outside the room.
On a bridge or at a table, context changes the meaning of every move.
A bad outcome can follow a good decision. A lucky result can conceal a weak process.
Meaning arrives through hindsight; the pattern becomes visible after the crossings accumulate.
Chum the waters with your presence.
Show up before certainty. Take the seat. Cross the threshold. Let the world respond to the fact that you are already in motion.
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