Tallinn Mappery-Deconstruct This!

Adult Swim From Mouse To Mermaid

Welcome to Euro Disney, er I mean Estonia, Another Daytastic time in the childhood euphoria and Snow Whites Magic Kingdom, Staging Athenticity and Encounters. It takes a village, and I feel like a global villager on two legs, doing the backstroke in the waters of the Santa Claus Industry  today as Big Brother looks on. Visiting countries is as easy as picking up the phone. I am a multinational soul.

These castles, and ppl dressed up in period costumes bring the colonization of our beloved American theme parks to Tallinn.It is a kind of boot camp for Scandanavians and Baltic types, getting their wallets ready for The happiest places on earth-Anaheim and Orlando. Great marketing guys! Basically everyone has two homes, the place they grew up with and America. I get it. ONE MARKET UNDER GOD.

Taking a Summer ferry ride from Finland or Stockholm over  here, is a new religion for urban elites. If you bring  a  willing suspension of disbelief, plus a willing suspension of reality itself, this is a well preserved tourist trap and UNESCO World Heritage top destination offering  the sacrement of Faith...In fact, this place is full of it.  Especially when traveling in a group. Want to get lost in the globalization maze, ride the empowerment roller coaster, or just sit down and relax, sipping a 4 Euro cup of coffee and enjoy the Spectacle.  There's something for everyone as the experience is experienced.

New Ephiphany: America, a country of immigrants, exiles and new comers, is the ideal place for the privlidged homeless. I am taking prisoners!

I have said it all before...

The march of stupidity and the routines of tourism are even more monotonous than those of daily life.

In an excursion, when you are always sure of reaching your destination, where everything is so well arranged, souvenir shops sell made-in-China-junk,(adding drywall to the tainted pet food and lead-painted toys), taking a tour is a kind of self induced torture, like going on a wild stuffed animal safari, with stupid rules like Do not feed the animals and No flash photography applying. When you have taken enough of these tours, however,each additional one you may ever take again, is both unbearable and trifling.